Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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