So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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