Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize