Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
