my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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