You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i came on her dog
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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