you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
