Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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