Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
