i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
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