I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There's even glitter on my cock...
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