I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
