if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
