Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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