We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
