Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
