I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize