the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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