You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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