hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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