Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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