I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Randomize
