I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
