Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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