I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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