i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
