whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize