talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
