My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize