Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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