$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize