Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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