dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
