Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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