His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
