office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
handjob tips. give me some.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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