Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
