I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
