I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
