She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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