My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
