..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
