There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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