Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
