According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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