let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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