How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
two words: eviction party
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
