You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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