I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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