please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize