I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
