i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
