First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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