You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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