Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
