I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I AM VODKA MAN
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
