Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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