I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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