In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Just pee around me
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
