Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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