You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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