My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
All the doctor said was why
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
