that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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