Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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