I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
