We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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